Who's Hotter?
by The Werewolf Mage
Summary: James and Sirius have an argument one day about, of all things, who is hotter?


Title: Who's Hotter? (Also titled, though I'm sure it wouldn't fit, 'Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, Tell That Git I'm Hotter Than All!')

Summary: James and Sirius have an argument one day about, of all things, who is hotter?

Note: Fairly sure it's not very original, but, hell, here's hoping it's funny. And no, of course it's not slash. I left it as a cliffie, in case I get a sequel idea.

It was after a long, boring History of Magic class in the final year of schooling for the Marauders when the argument started. One of the Ravenclaw girls brushed by the Marauders on her way out of the classroom, caught James, and Sirius's, eye, and winked.

"Kind of cute..." James muttered to himself, gazing after her. Sure, she had been a bit short, but he probably wouldn't have minded that much had he not been holding a torch for a Miss Lily Evans.

"I don't know why the hell you're judging her." Sirius said, sitting on his desk, waiting for Remus as they waited for Remus to put his notes away so they could head to lunch. "She was winking at me."

"You wish." James scoffed. "We all know I'm very talented, very handsome, and the ladies love me."

It was Sirius's turn to scoff. "James, mate, honestly, you really need to get out of your little dream world more often."

"Dream world? Who's the one living in Fantasy Land, Mr. Black?" James began to prance around the empty classroom, doing a very, very bad imitation of Sirius. "Ooh, look at me! I'm Sirius Black! I'm tall, attractive, and my black hair is always falling in my face because the girls think it's hot!"

"Stop making fun of my outer beauty!" Sirius shouted. Then, to give James a taste of his own medicine, took up where James had stopped prancing around and said, "Oooh, I'm James Potter! My hair is totally unmanageable, but I like it that way! I'm really good at Quidditch but I can't get the attention of the girl I love!"

Then two were glaring at each other, their wands drawn. Remus and Peter, to escape the possible deadly duel, quickly ducked of out the classroom, with Peter muttering, "You know, Sirius isn't all that graceful."

Sirius and James were still shooting death glares in the other's direction during their Herbology class. They barely noticed Peter and Remus getting mauled by their plant as they hissed insults at each other in venomous whispers.

"Girls think grey eyes are hotter than hazel. And glasses make you less hotter than, than, than -- " Before Sirius could think of a person to judge James against, Peter went flying by, tossing by one of the plant's large, and very thorny, tentacles, and hit the glass of the greenhouse, cracking it.

Ignoring that, as he had ignored several things that day, Sirius finished with, "_The Giant Squid!"_

With a gasp of mixed horror and outrage, James growled, "You take that back! We're not judging against animals! Apparently, good looks aren't the only thing you lack."

Sirius narrowed his eyes and deftly struck James's hand with the shears he had been clinging to so tightly he had nearly broken them in two. "Let's see you play Chaser now, bitch!"

"Whore!" James spat, sticking his bleeding fingers in his mouth.

Sirius innocently stuck his tongue out at James.

James was still not speaking to Sirius at dinner. Instead, he put as much distance between himself and Sirius that other two Marauders could create. His fingers still aching, even though that had been repaired almost instantly, he jabbed moodily at his dinner, unaware of what he was eating.

It seemed he was going to lose his best friend, just because he felt, and was pretty sure of the fact, that he was hotter than Sirius. 'If I weren't so proud,' he thought, 'I would apologize.'

Sirius, on the other side of Remus and Peter, was still fuming. 'How DARE he?' he thought. 'Everyone knows I'm the best looking person in this whole bloody school!'

As the four headed back to the Common Room, Remus, tired of their bickering, threatened to lock them in a broom cupboard until they apologized. Or killed each other, whichever happened first.

"I'm not apologizing, Moony!" Sirius snapped, crossing his arms over his chest and giving James a now-familiar evil glare. "He made fun of my outer beauty."

"He broke my hand!" James argued, taking a very similar pose to Sirius's. "And he insulted my Quidditch talent."

"So things were said, hands were broken... you guys are best friends. It shouldn't matter who's better looking." Remus groaned, wearily sinking into the nearest armchair. "Now go on, apologize." he demanded.

With a small defeated sigh, Sirius muttered, "I'm sorry I broke your hand, Prongs."

"I'm sorry I insulted your outer beauty, Padfoot."

"Can you ever forgive me?" Sirius said with a mock sob.

"Well..." James began. "Of course. Now, if it were Remus on the other hand..."


End file.
